Stop feeling bad about mistakes and try these approaches.
We all make mistakes, but as dyslexics, we make them, and it feels like our world is tumbling down. This is a sad reality for how most of us feel, but it does not have to be! The Hive community recently had a chat about the best approaches for handling mistakes.
Why are we different than others?
After years of working hard to achieve what we think is normal, we have built up an insane amount of trauma regarding mistakes. When a non-dyslexic person makes a mistake, they can easily brush it off as a human error. When we make a mistake, it triggers all the feelings from our past mistakes. Feelings like embarrassment, failure, fear, and unworthiness are among some of the stronger ones we face. Over the long term, these feelings can hurt our confidence and happiness.
How to approach mistakes
While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, our community came up with some fantastic ways to handle them; here are some of our favorites.
"After I shout and scream at my phone or laptop, I act cool and reply, sorry having a bad dyslexia day " - Rob.
Rob approaches things head-on like many of our other members. They take a second to recognise that they are frustrated and let that feeling out, then is direct when communicating with others that they are struggling.
"Yesterday I went into town specifically to buy deodorant... I came back without the deodorant, classic dyslexia. When I said this to my friend, they said it was not dyslexia. I said it is my dyslexia, but dyslexia isn't the only reason people do that; lots of things can cause issues with memory" - Hannah.
Hannah's approach is another one we like! If you are struggling with something dyslexic that is not directly related to reading and writing and are being gaslit by a friend or coworker, we recommend explaining to them. Most people make comments like this out of ignorance, not malice, so education is critical.
" I try to make a joke about it usually, mistakes happen, and if it's in a more professional setting, they already know why I made that mistake. If it's in a casual setting, then I don't apologize and just make the joke. I used to care a lot, but I try to have compassion for myself now. I think kindness to oneself is important"- Paola.
We love Paola's thoughts on this topic! Different settings require different responses; their thoughts about when at work they apologize, and in casual settings, they don't; this is spot on. You don't have to apologize for your mistakes. Paola's thoughts on self-compassion are the real gem! You should always lead with compassion and understanding for yourself!
"In general, I just ignore the mistake, and if someone mentions it, I try to minimize it" -Andres.
Andres shares another piece of sage advice. Not every mistake has to be earth-shattering; you can ignore them just as easily as non-dyslexics. This ignorance is bliss approach that we can get behind. It reduces your stress about mistakes and helps build confidence in yourself.
We love talking with the Hive about how they approach different topics! Each week we have several prompts in our WhatsApp groups that we chat about. If you want to join the Hive and start sharing your thoughts, you can sign up HERE! We look forward to meeting you!