Ok, so dating... is something that everyone does at some point. Even if you married your high school sweetheart, you had to date. Did you know that dyslexia can make dating a big challenge? Today we will break down what good traits every dyslexic should look for in a partner and why they are extra crucial for us.
When you are dating someone, dyslexic mishaps WILL happen; the question is how will your date handle them?
I was dating someone close to Valentine's day one year and decided to ask them to go out with me to celebrate! I booked a reservation for 6:15 pm weeks in advance. The date finally approached, and I texted my date to remind them of our 6:30 reservation. They quickly texted back, saying, "Do you mean 6:15?" Oh, boy, that started a chain reaction of awful time blindness and panic. My whole plan was shot, and I forgot to factor in rush-hour traffic. We arrived just before 7 pm (and were thankfully able to eat).
My date at the time was a little stressed about us being late, but when I explained how my dyslexia sometimes does stuff like this, they turned out not to be mad. They kept a calm head and helped me by reaching out to the restaurant to let them know we would be late and were stuck in traffic.
The moral of the story is that people with dyslexia should look for a calm partner in a crisis, be willing to help (the way you need), and be understanding. We will mess up, so having a partner who does not make us feel bad about those mishaps is HUGE.
Dating is about getting to know each other; as a dyslexic, we need someone willing to listen and respect our struggles (and celebrate our successes).
Natalie (our founder) was dating a guy (also dyslexic). She would talk to him all the time about her struggles at work or her problems finding her keys and paying bills. He would always gaslight her, saying things like, "I'm dyslexic, and I never lose my keys," or "that's not a dyslexic struggle." The worst comments were, "you always blame everything on dyslexia" (the nerve this man had, my gosh)!
The relationship did not work out, but Natalie (and I) learned a valuable lesson. Only date people who understand that your lived experience is different from theirs. We need relationships where our significant others respect that dyslexia extends to all areas of our lives. Don't accept anything less!
Everyone WANTS a nice guy, but dyslexics NEED to date one to thrive.
That's not to say that you can't thrive single, but if you choose to date someone, you should be looking for a kind and caring partner. "Duh, Kati, but why does my dyslexia need a nice guy?" You should date someone who makes you feel comfortable with who you are, not ashamed. You will need an extra set of eyes to check and email, and you will have missteps, but a date should NEVER make you feel awful about any of it.
Dating is hard in the best of times, let alone as a dyslexic. If you are struggling with dating and dyslexia, I encourage you to go check out our podcast episode, Dyslexia and Dating, which details the benefits of dyslexia in a relationship.
We also have some excellent blogs on dyslexia and relationships linked below for you to check out! Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Comments